


Seymour’s Guide to Loving, Living and Samurai Swords

by Missy



Category: Burn Notice
Genre: Gen, Humor, Shipping, romance - like samurai swords in a way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 21:45:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1098939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seymour Talbot - the world's foremost Michael Westen fanboy - has some feelings about Michael's relationship with Fiona.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seymour’s Guide to Loving, Living and Samurai Swords

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GrimmPerspective](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrimmPerspective/gifts).



> Written for GrimmPerspective for Yuletide '13 ! Hope it's enjoyed!

Y’know, I’ve hung around with lots of weird people since I moved to this town. There’s the guy with alligator suitcases and blue-gray suits and ties who insists on holding court for hours over cups of wine and big slabs of steak. There are the hustlers in their snakeskin boots – they keep quiet and let the goods speak for themselves. And then there are those people who mash the power of the talkers into the smooth silkiness of the hustlers. We call those people spies.

And that is why I think Michael Westen is so cool.

Okay, I guess I’d be cool with any guy who’d come up off the street and ask me to help him out with his little Carla problem. But there’s something really special about Mike: he’s one hundred percent Steve McQueen-level balls-to-the-wall cool. Nobody in the world is like him, man. He’s got the sunglasses, the suits, and the car: all of the right things, and all of the brains.

When I hooked up with him it was perfect right from the start.

Except for the explosions, but the explosions are totally expected when it comes to Michael and his little family.

And who can forget his family? And by family, I quite honestly recall the sleek, beauteous and tough as nails Fiona Glenanne, with her love of red and cars that go too fast and fancy meals and snowglobes. A woman as fine as she is deserves a man of taste, breeding and stature.

A man similar to me, but since she’s not interested let’s talk about how much she obviously loves Michael.

THAT’S what I talk about when I tell other people about what love is. Love’s going from town to town and place to place with a burning in your gut for one special person. It’s fighting and scratching your way back to them even when you think it’s all over and done. And it’s about trying to give a hundred percent to the other person, no matter who they are or what they’re about. It’s about being beautiful but deadly.

Just like a samurai sword.

Now swords like that have to be sharp but pretty; well-decorated and yet light enough to be wielded in battle. They need to be a man’s symbolic device, proof that he’s a mighty soldier under the Emperor’s rule – but they also have to look beautiful in a hilt, tell the tale of long ago passions, and somehow be as modern as ever.

That explains Mike and Fiona’s attraction. They’re as cool as Bogie and Bacall and as sleek as Pitt and Jolie. There’s a completely timeless feeling about them; they have the spirit and the soul of a big brass band and the cool reserve of a solid pour of whiskey. They’re as fun as Hepburn and Tracy and as perfect as Grant and Kelly. In other words, they’re the ultimate couple.

And who am I to stand in the way of such a perfect pairing?

But lots of people have tried to stand between them. Everything from this government to the IRA, to petty gun runners and warlords and ambulance attendants, have come to rip the two of them apart. But nobody’s ever been as successful as they are when it comes to keeping themselves asunder. I mean, Mike killed a guy and jumped out of a helicopter for her. If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is!

And yet just sitting there watching the two of them together was frustrating as hell. He refuses to connect with her on a basic, normal, human level, and she refuses to give an inch. It’s like watching a couple of kids fight over a big rubber ball or a crying baby doll. 

Well, maybe my analysis is off. Maybe they’re not really the perfect couple after all but a cataclysm, an inferno, a fire burning brightly in the middle of the night, lighting the way for lovers old and new, the ones inspired by and yet afraid of the path they have chosen. For they do inspire, even though they likely wish to do anything but that with people like me.

That’s why I took them under my wing. And why I gave them those swords.

I could’ve given then tech nines or howitzers, but that isn’t their deal. I might’ve gone ahead and given them some kind of What can I say? I know about destiny. I understand destiny. And destiny’s what they’ve got on their hands. They’ve just got to get off of their butts and seize it.

I know they have the courage. I know they have the right kind of love –even if they don’t. So what’s it gonna take to get them to see how great they are – to figure out that they’re as sharp as a sword and twice as deadly, and because of that they belong in the same scabbard?

I guess I’m gonna have to sell them on it myself. Gonna have to teach them that they’re born to be together, to make beautiful babies and live in a beautiful penthouse and shoot lots of really big guns and be badasses together forever and ever and ever.

It’s what Fi deserves, and what Michael deserves. What they both deserve. Which is why they need to learn the value they have in each other, what they mean to each other. The value in being a couple of total badasses in control of their own incredible and awesome and badass lives. 

Don’t worry. I’ll keep working on them.

I guess in the end there’s only one keyword to use.

The keyword is respect.

The other keyword is love, but I’ve never been lucky enough to have it for my own. 

But those are the keys, my friends. That is the great big bow on top of this glittering present. That’s why Mike is perfect for Fi and Fi’s perfect for Mike. Since she can’t spend time with yours truly, it’s nice that they have each other.

Because with anybody else they’d end up destroying the world.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction uses characters from **Burn Notice** , all of whom are the property of the **USA Network**. No money was gained from the writing of this fanfiction and all are used under the strictures of of the Berne Convention.


End file.
